TOP TEN ITEMS ON THE NORTH POLE POLICE BLOTTER
IN the spirit of the holidays, here's another top ten list from my library. Hope it gives you a smile. A blessed Feast of Sol Invictus to all of you..;)
10. Two white male elves caught shoplifting condoms at the Pay 'n' Save.
9. Santa stabbed for his jacket.
8. Broke up domestic squabble between Dancer and Prancer.
7. Female polar bear at disco allegedly fondled by Mike Tyson.
6. Frosty the Snowman caught urinating in the Subway; claimed he was just "melting".
5. Unidentified three-foot, six inch make wearing pointy cap and bells on shoes shot dead while eating at local Italian eatery.
4. Santa's sleigh found completely stripped five thousand miles away on Cross-Bronx Expressway.
3. Computer hacker released to custody of parents after illegally inserting name onto "nice" list.
2. Issued warning at frat party to turn down the Burl Ives records.
1. Arrested 35 year old white male who refused to get off of Santa's lap.
...
Happy Christmas to all,
-A.
10. Two white male elves caught shoplifting condoms at the Pay 'n' Save.
9. Santa stabbed for his jacket.
8. Broke up domestic squabble between Dancer and Prancer.
7. Female polar bear at disco allegedly fondled by Mike Tyson.
6. Frosty the Snowman caught urinating in the Subway; claimed he was just "melting".
5. Unidentified three-foot, six inch make wearing pointy cap and bells on shoes shot dead while eating at local Italian eatery.
4. Santa's sleigh found completely stripped five thousand miles away on Cross-Bronx Expressway.
3. Computer hacker released to custody of parents after illegally inserting name onto "nice" list.
2. Issued warning at frat party to turn down the Burl Ives records.
1. Arrested 35 year old white male who refused to get off of Santa's lap.
...
Happy Christmas to all,
-A.
posted by Aurelian at 2:41 PM
2 Comments:
Hi Alex,
I had no idea that you had this blog or a flare for journalism. Both of the "Top Ten Lists" game me a me a smile.
As for your ordeal ascending the 'ivory tower,' I can commisserate with you and wish you more success in the New Year.
And, what naval campaign are you hosting?
All the best to you and Jen.
Roxanne
Hi Alex,
I had no idea that you had this blog or a flare for journalism. Both of the "Top Ten Lists" game me a me a smile.
As for your ordeal ascending the 'ivory tower,' I can commiserate with you and wish you more success in the New Year.
And, what naval campaign are you hosting?
All the best to you and Jen.
Roxanne
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