TOP TEN REASONS THE BRITISH LOST THE COLONIES

RECENTLY I was going through a box of old books, looking for something funny (I've really needed a laugh lately) and came across one of my old books of 'Top Ten Lists' from the David Letterman show. Not sure which one this is from, but it made me laugh, as did a few others I'll try to share now and again.

I should keep this handy next time British forces under my command royally screw up in a Revolutionary War game...

TOP TEN REASONS THE BRITISH LOST THE COLONIES

10. Hard to shoot straight with sissified powdered wig falling in your eyes.

9. Wanted to just lose New Jersey but got carried away.

8. Colonists on steroids.

7. Spent too much time guessing who's gay in the royal family.

6. British diet: Tea and Crumpets; American diet: Raw Squirrel and Whiskey

5. Serious problems with snuff abuse.

4. Lots of painful poking accidents trying to put on those pointy hats of theirs.

3. Americans had Batman.

2. Wanted to get first draft choice.

1. Uninspiring British battle cry: "Let's win this for our swishy, inbred monarch!"

Enjoy...

-A.